the truest test is who you can't help

If you want to know what a person is made of, watch how they treat the people who can do nothing for them, the ones with no power to advance their standing or return a favor. Warmth that switches on for anyone useful and off for everyone else isn't warmth -- it's strategy in warmth's clothing, and the people in the off-state can always feel the difference even when they can't name it.

Character is most legible where there's no incentive left to perform it, which is why how someone treats a stranger, a junior, or a tired waiter tells you more than how they treat you.